rnl29Mar JOURNAL

Charleen's son in law Glen is the soundman for a cover band called "Iambic Underground. They have recorded a number of my songs, but the one that really knocks me out is their rendition of "Hard Ride to the Movies" Glen came up with the idea of doing a music video around "Hard Ride" It would be a combination of the original version and the current one intertwined. Anyway, it sounds like fun. Glen got the local Harley Dealer to agree to lend us a Harley for me to ride. Sounds like fun. I've found a great guitarist named Randy Stennett. He has retired from playing in road bands and teaches here in Calhoun. He and I are writing together and he is stretching my chops, which is great and coming up with exciting chord patterns. Saturday, March 30 2002 Last night Charleen and I spent the evening at Lynn & Glen's house. Charleen helped Lynn deliver five Tri Welsh Corgi pups. I inturn disappeared into Glen's studio where we continued playing old reel to reel tape from the 60s and burning a CD with the songs. What a trip - we're finding and hearing songs that I wrote that I didn't even remember the song - until I heard myself singing it. On the way home the thunder, lightening and pelting rain greeted us as we headed north from Cartersville. Gas is up to $1.35 at the high end and $1.15 at the Pakistani run cut rate station. Kevin Wilson called and nothing is happening with the screenplay. I guess the connection at Pixar says there is hope, but only if we make a bunch more changes and I don't want to make any more changes. We also talked about turning "The Legend of Elos Mountain" into a novel. I bared my soul on that subject. I've thought deeply about it and I can't deal with the business of changing Bear into a wolf. It's was begun over 50 years ago as Bear and Snake and really has to remain those two characters in the book. I went along with it for the screenplay, but that was really a mistake, but I won't repeat if for the book. The lame excuse for changing Bear into a wolf was that there were too many bears and it was confusing. Two animals that are combatants are too many. Like too many lions in Lion King. Each character who has any decent characterization built for him stands out strongly as Tamba most assuredly does. That is the way it will remain! Anyone who cares to read the original version of "Legend of Elos Mt" with Bear & Snake, plus the version with Wolf and Snake is welcome to do so. E-mail me your snail mail address and I'll mail you a copy or at least e-mail you the screenplay if I can. The music feels wonderful this morning. Glen says he'll play bass. I need to call Randy and arrange to get together the first free time he has. The business of Jeff Tamarkin not having a picture of me in his book on the Airplane, because the photographer who took all of the ones with me, won't give him permission. I have to talk to my lawyer about that. I also need to address Cranium Music's non payment of the money I have coming for sales last year. The photography organization is coming along. I'm anxious to get it organized and get on with the book "Rezerection". My sister Eleanor sent an e-mail telling me that my Brother Fanklin is having to move to a different retirement home as the one he's in is going belly up. He seems to have given up his desire to move to a cabin in the woods. Also he has given up the demands for a truck. Charleen saw an interview with a musician my age named Steve Tryrell. He sounds interesting. I've organized the Slippery Rock String Band pictures and feel I probably will not get the pictures that Lee Cheney and Chuck McCabe have, so am going to shine it on. I'm still planning on an album done with Jerry Peloquin (original drummer in the Airplane) but I'm also building a band here in Calhoun - to play local gigs and to play at the 50s festival this summer. The dogwoods are dogging, even the corgi dogs are dogging - spring is in the air and the sun is out. I'm thinking of joining Amazon.com! Take Care Bob

Journal - December 5, 2001

Charleen and I spent four days on the road. I contacted 40 radio stations in the Carolinas about playing my song "Comes a Time." Out of all those stations we got one taker at a Classic Rock station in Charleston, SC. I was interviewed and they played the song and said anyone who wants a copy, you can pick one up at the station and in return "we ask that you send $5.00 to the Salvation Army headquarters in NY."
The next time out I'll be a bit better prepared for an interview and I've decided to offer a CD of four unreleased Airplane songs which I'm playing bass.
The day after we got back I spent the day with my friend Kevin Wilson, making more changes to the screenplay of "Legend Of Elos Mountain"
My friend Danny Taylor and I have been working on a recording studio in the attic of Charleen's house here in Calhoun. Danny is doing arrangements for my songs using a string ensemble. I guess that makes it classical folk.
I'm still only partially moved out of my house in Columbus. I've got drainage problems that have to be taken care of before I can sell it.
I spent most of the afternoon putting up Christmas decoration down the driveway.. I could live without the outdoor candy cains all lit up, but it is a tradition that Charleen always follows, and the Bearden Xmas tradition of all opening presents here at her house. That includes her son Lane and his wife and three children, her daughter Lynn and her husband and their three kids. Her daughter Laurie and family live near Escondido Calif., where we'll be on the Dec 28th. I hope my son Jebin and family can meet us at our hotel in Escondido for New Years Eve.
Tonight I'm reading the screenplay aloud to Charleen to see how she likes the latest changes to "Legend"
One of Kevin's writer friends read the screenplay and said it sounds like you wrote it with Disney in mind. Well, we did.
Charleen and I, along with her daughter Lynn and her family, will be flying to San Diego on the 28th, to spend New Years Eve.I'm hoping that Jeb and Denise will be able to come down to Escondido on New Years Eve. I'd like to have Mike and Deb Meadows be there as well. They could meet us at the hotel in Escondido and spend New Years Eve with us and the Bearden/Hoskin/Harvey/Falkenstein entourage.

Bob

JrnlOct23

The absolute number one, most important thing that happened to me, as a founding member of Jefferson Airplane in 1965, was the kindling of a burning desire to write. That drive has lasted for the last 36 years. There have been many experiences in my life that have inspired lyrics, but by far the most important was the tragedy on September 11, 2001. The shock of that event brought all my creative juices to a hard boil. Out of that came by far the most painful and disturbing lyrics I have ever written. The song is called "Comes a Time" and it was written from the viewpoint of those on the united flight that crashed in Pennsylvania - for they surely knew that they were about to die. I would like to find a radio station that would promote the sale of the CD (single) and donate 100% of the proceeds to the Salvation Army in New York City, for distribution to the families of those who died in the towers.

JrnlOct10

Wow! What a trip. I went to my friend Kevin Wilson's house three weeks ago - to spend one week on a screenplay of my "children's story", "The Legend of Elos Mountain" but it got hold of us and we couldn't let go. Draft one was at the end of the first week, but then we each digested the first draft and got back together and the characters took over. We sat before two separate screens and the story unfolded as we talked about it and wrote lines and read lines and felt the characters tug at us and take us where "They" wanted to go. I got together with my new friend Danial R. Taylor, a wonderful violinist and we worked on and then recorded my new song "Comes a Time". It is wonderful and we love it. I'm sending it too my son Wes and his wife Janet. Their
company "Upgrade Highway" will burn copies of the master, put labels on them and get them to media people they know through their business. They will send me copies and I'll go to radio station and see what happens.
In 1965, as one of the founding members of Jefferson Airplane I stared self righteously at my focal point, which was an existence that lived for turning on, making love, enjoying the confrontation that came with our peace marches and writing about it. In a peace march through downtown San Francisco, I called out peace slogans, but when an onlooker hit me in the back with a stick, I instinctively, in an adrenaline rush, swung around, snatched the stick and beat him to the ground with it. I went home and wrote "Completely Harmless".
Now 41 years later I find myself full of patriotism love for my country, sorrow for the slaughtered and their families, and a feeling that we must stand up and be counted. There just flat comes a time that no matter how much you believe in and want peace. There is a time when you have to stand up and be counted. A time when your Karma forces you to take a stand. So Harvey-Taylor has created a soulful haunting word picture of the agony of realizing that you are going to die. Comes a time your life will pass right before your eyes. Comes a time you will be gone - before you even realize.
This is the best song I've ever written.
Bob Harvey Founding member Jefferson Airplane SanFrancisco Blue.com

Journal/Sunday, August 26, 2001

My weight is back to 175 lbs. The food nausea has gone and in its place I have a raging appetite - for everything - and I'm strong enough to cut the grass, even my front lawn that is on a 6% grade and in this heat.

Charleen and I have been together for a year and while life has had its ups and downs - everything has been so much better for having Charleen in my life.

My daughter-in-law Janice Harvey sent me an e-mail this morning asking for more daily journal. I've been searching for more Harvey Family history, but have not found the material that I need to continue the ancient history portion.
But, rather than do nothing, I've been working with sections of my journal from the late 60's. To be quite frank, I find the old journals somewhat disturbing and am afraid that much of the old writing won't be readily accepted at this point in time - especially to some of those who lived through those years with me. In reading the old journals, I am discovering just how much I have changed as the years have passed.

My life with Charleen is a million light years away from where I was with Nancy in 1969. However, the person I was in 1969 is as real and valid as any part of my life - so here goes.

 

 

Daily Journal August 8, 2001

- I've gained nine lbs. in the last week. The doctor was very pleased with my progress. Charleen is making sure I get solid food down, even if I have to swig giant slurps of milk shake just to get it to stay down. I've been working on my family history and have started writing the Harvey Family Journal. Charleen went in for eye surgery yesterday at 2pm. Everything turned out fine. I've been amusing myself digging through old letters and journals.

 

JournalJune25

I went to my doctor's office at 8:15 this morning. The urin test is clear and the operation is on for tomorrow morning. I show up at St. Francis in another hour to start "Pre-op". Who - me scared? No doubt!
Here comes old man doubt again
He's been comin'
Since I don't know when
I used to fear him
Now he's trippy
Since I learned
That he's a hippy
When he comes I let him crash
Let him rap and share my stash
Then I send him
On his way
And turn to face another day
Cause now I see
Myself much clearer
And Mr. Doubt
Is just a mirror
I now believe in what I'm feeling
And in the importance
Of my being
I'm worth as much as
Any other
Worth the best
That's in my brother
Since I recognize
That I'm good too
I now can see
The good in you
The Good in You
Robert Harvey 1968©

 

Journal 6-19-01

Surgeons don't bother with a lot of the amenities - like meeting and talking to you - before they strip you down and start poking and prodding. I was told to strip and lay on the table. I got down to my underwear and sat on the table and wrote in my journal. Last week I came down with a bladder infection
. Dr Fussell put me on antibiotics (for a bacterial infection). The tests came back yesterday and it's a staff infection. I'm on new medication.
The operation is set for 7am, one week from today at St Francis hospital. That's Tuesday June 26th. Dr. Brooks, the surgeon spent about 20 minutes with me. We will make sure the staff infection is clear before the operation. On Monday the 25th, I'll show up at Dr. Fussell's office (my GP) for a urinalysis. Then spend the rest of the day at the hospital in pre-op having all kinds of tests. I can't get out of the catherization. He says monitoring the flow through the cath tube is a strong indicator of how my body is taking the operation. There are easier ways (on the patient) but not any that allow him to closely monitor how the bladder is functioning.
They will use a sodium pentathol derivative. They will be taking a piece of artery from my chest as a replacement for the main artery. They will take a large vein from my leg to replace the one in my chest. At 5am the next morning I'll show up and be prepped for surgery at 7am.This father's day was the best one I can remember. Rob, Wes, and Jebin all called. But the highpoint was Wes' gift of business cards that are miniature CDs. You put them into the CD ROM holder in the computer. The center has a smaller indentation that the card fits right in. The program comes up on the screen and there is the album cover and back cover and a menu for "Idiot's Vision" and another for "Bootleg Series"., done in the front room.There are a total of 10 songs, plus pictures. Wes and Janet have produced business cards for a band in Cleveland and the group has gone bananas for the cards.
I need to ask Phil O'Keefe if the Yamaha 4416 will burn those business card size CDs. Wes has a day gig also, as a computer installer/programmer/trouble-shooter.

Bob

 

Journal 6-15-01

FATHER'S DAY - IMPOTENCE & OLD AGE
SITTING DOWN IN COLUMBUS GEORGIA
WITH CALIFORNIA ON MY MIND
FEELING THE SOFTNESS OF A MAY BREEZE
SO SMOOTH YOU BELIEVE THAT IT WILL LAST
AS I LAY BENEATH A LAZY PINE
FANTASIZING ON A FAVORITE THEME OF MINE
I WANT TO EXPERIENCE COMMUNICATION
I WANT TO BE HEARD & UNDERSTOOD
I MUST RIDE THIS SWEEPING DESIRE
PELL MELL - LIKE A RUNNING CHILD
I STOP FOR JUST ONE DRAG
ON THIS MOST COMPELLING DREAM-IMAGE
TALKING ON THE LINE & WALKING TO THE TIME
HERE ON A SHADOWED BENCH
MY OWN FEELINGS IN TOUCH WITH MY OWN NEEDS
MY OH MY RHYMES WITH SHOE FLY PIE
CATCH A RHYME - CATCH IT IN THE NICK OF TIME
YOU CAN EASILY CAPTURE IT AND ITS BEAUTY
BUT LIKE THE WHITE BIRD IT MAY DIE
WHEN CAGED & NOT ALLOWED TO FLY
I AM SITTING BEFORE A ONE-MAN-BENCH
THAT HAS BLOSSOMED INTO A CONGREGATION
CARICATURES IN TOTAL DISREPAIR
SOME JUST FULL OF PLAIN DISPAIR
I SIT HERE IN A MELLOWED STATE OF HIGH
LOOKING OUT AT DEFORMATION
REALIZING IT COULD BE ME SITTING THERE
TRAPPED INSIDE
I FEEL LIKE THE LYNCH-PIN IN THE JAWS
OF A PASSING IMAGE OF SUPER-FERTILITY
THEY PARADE AND STRUT IN THE SUN
SHOW US HOW SUCCESS IS WON
ATTACK IS WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT
YOU ATTACK MY SENSES
IT IS THE HEART OF THE MATTER
AN ASSAULT ON EVERY LEVEL
BY A PASSING FANTASY OF PLEASURE
ALL TAUT AND SLEEK-LIKE A HUNGRY CAT
AS YOU LIE HIDDEN IN YOUR TUNNEL OF FEAR
BEHIND THE WALL - YOU LIE THERE
PICKING YOURSELF INTO PIECES - BIG ENOUGH TO HURL
LISTEN TO THE MUSIC IN YOUR HEAD
AT LEAST TACIT PROOF - YOU ARE NOT YET DEAD
LEAPING ON AHEAD-WHILE STILL TEATHERED TIGHTLY

TO YOUR BED - YOUR LEGS BEGIN TO SPREAD
BUT IT IS PURELY OUT OF DREAD -
DREAD THAT YOU CANNOT PERFORM
AND WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED
AS A MAN - ESPECIALLY ONE WHO CARRIES A LIFETIME
OF COMPRESSED PASSION LOCKED INSIDE
FANTASY HAS BECOME SO REAL - I CLEARLY HEAR
INVITING CALLS - THAT ECHO DOWN IMPENITRABLE WALLS
A FANTASY OF A MOST POWERFUL ATTRACTION
EMITTING VAPORS OF INVULNERABILITY
THE DREAM IS ALL-THINGS-FREE -- ALL THINGS EQUAL
THE BOOK OF LIFE IS THE BLANK PAGES
THAT I WRITE IN EACH AND EVERY DAY
HERE COMES "FATHER'S DAY - AGAIN
JUST ONE MORE BLANK PAGE - THAT ALSO
CARRIES MEMORIES OF PAIN - DESIRE
& NEGLECT - NOT TO MENTION A POOL OF
DISRESPECT
ALL THAT ADDS UP TO FEELINGS OF DISPAIR
A FEELING THAT YOU NEITHER KNOW OR CARE
WHILE CARRYING AROUND A WOUND -
TOO DEEP TO SHARE
OUT OF THE BLUE COMES THE FEELINGS OF
MORTALITY - OF VULNERABILITY
YOU COMB EVERY STRAGELY STRAND OF COURAGE
TRYING TO COVER THE BALD NAKEDNESS OF YOUR INSECURITY
YOU ARE SURVIVING ON A BANQUET OF HOMOGONIZED SELF DOUBT
THERE YOU HIDE IN A CUBBY DOWN THE HALL - DEEP INSIDE - BEHIND THE WALL
DOESN'T SEEM TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE WHICH IS UP OR WHICH IS DOWN - WHAT IS IN
OR WHOSE WITHOUT - SEE THE FLICKERING REFLECTION - APPEARING AS ONE
UNFORGIVEN - DEEP INSIDE THE MIRROR SITS THE JUDGE
NOW ONLY MEMORIES REMAIN - I CAN LIVE WITHOUT THE YOUTH
IT'S THE MANHOOD I MISS LIKE A FAMILIAR OLD

 

GLOVE
THAT BRINGS COMFORT

-6-16-01 Journal

10:00 pm Saturday evening. I got in about 9:30 after spending two hours in the new recording studio with my partner David Herring and a recording engineer. I don't have a lot of stamina, but I can spend a couple of hours each day at the studio and I simply cut it off when I get over tired.
Tonight we finished the third track (drums, bass & rhythm guitar) on "The Feel of Night" which is new. Another few days and we should rap it up - the first song for the new album "Children of The Wind"
When I came in from the studio there was an e-mail from my friend Robert Gover who has lived through the highs of having a "Best Seller" as well as the lows of books that he believed in being slammed and ripped apart and rejected. And here he is in his sixties, still believing and still focused on the success of his current book "Time & Money" & walla - - The doors are opening. For my own life and my own career - I needed that reinforcement and I needed it now. That is so cool!
I see the surgeon on Monday and hopefully we will operate within the next week. That is if I can beat this bacterial infection in my bladder. The antibiotics I'm on should clear it up in time.
Tomorrow is Father's day and I've already had a phone call from two of my three sons. If the third one calls tomorrow, I'll be in hog heaven.

Bob

 

Journal-June-First

Here comes a man with pebbles in his mouth
Said he was moving up - but he was really headed South
Last week he worked out in the gym - feeling very fit & looking kinda' trim
Kept talking all about his health - how at his age it's just as good as wealth
That's what he gets for being cocky - now just sitting up's as much as he can jockey
The payoff for all that braggin' - is a tail that goes - but the body just aint't waggin'
Now there he lies upon his back - looking up at his own heart attack
Quite afraid but he don't show it - heart still pumps but he afraid he'll blow it
A lilly coward but still he will stand - to the death, just to show he can
His reputation's far outweighed by his reality
He clings to dreams he may not live to see - while crying for just one more surge of ecstasy
He feels that some old urge to fly - the same belief that if he truly believes - he will reach the sky
But it's the poetry that in the end will fly - while all the human shell can do is die

The surgeon doesn't want to see me at his office until the 19th of June and the bypass surgery some days after that. I'll let you know the date later.

Bob

 

IN-A-HEARTBEAT - YOUR LIFE CAN CHANGE

On Monday a week ago I showed up at Oats Gym by 8:30, waiting for Jerry Oats to open up at a quarter to nine. He showed up on time and unlocked the gym. He guided me through my "lose my fat belly exercises. We talk and joke our way through the exercises. He tells me about his exploits in professional wrestling - especially during the time that he and another wrestler held the Tag-Team championship. In his late 50's he still wrestles throughout Georgia.
I told Jerry how lucky I am to be turning 67 and still have good health. The next day Tuesday May 15th I had my first Heart Attack. It was when I sat down to dinner that it began as a feeling like indigestion in the center of my chest. Charleen said, "You should go to the emergency room". I said, "no, it will pass". It didn't pass. I began to be nauseated and short of breath and feeling really bad. I also broke out into intense body sweats. I had Charleen call my doctor and then she drove me to the emergency room at St. Francis Hospital.
After an EKG, the first doctor said "Heartattack". But the cardiologist said it was just a pulled muscle. By morning, the enzyme messages told it all. It was a mild heart attack. A small side artery was 100% blocked. It caused the attack and then died. At that point, if there had been no other blockage, I'd have been ok, but the heart catherization found 75% blockage in the main artery, in more than one spot.
After blood thinners and monitoring me for five days, I was allowed to come home on Monday May 21, 2001. I'll have bypass surgery in a couple of weeks. A heart attack really gets your attention and it also changes your perspective. It breaks open the clogged mind and opens doors of creativity. Life is good - every minute of it is to be cherished and used well.

EVERYTHING THAT YOU BELIEVE - BELIEVE ME FRIEND IT'S TRUE
TRUTH CAN ONLY BE JUST WHAT YOU TELL IT TO
IF YOU BELIEVE I'M BAD - THEN I AM BAD - FOR YOU
IF YOU BELIEVE I'M GOOD IT SEEMS IT'S UNDERSTOOD
BELIEVING MAKES IT SO - BELIEVING MAKES TRUTH GROW
BELIEVING EVEN HAS AFFECT ON THINGS YOU DO NOT KNOW
THE GROUND BENEATH YOU FEET - PLANTS TO WHICH YOU TALK
THE TREES ABOVE YOUR HEAD - THE GRASS ON WHICH YOU WALK
CANNOT CARE OR SHARE WHAT THE ANIMALS KNOW
ONLY AS IT DIES DOES IT SHARE WHERE THE GRASS WILL GROW
WON'T COME BY TRYING - ONLY BY DIEING WILL MAN TRULY KNOW
THAT MY NON-KNOWING HE WILL GROW - & THEN UNDERSTAND
WHAT THE MIND OF MAN HAS STRUGGLED SO TO KNOW
SINCE MAN FIRST BEGAN - EVERYTHING THAT YOU BELIEVE IS TRUE

Bob Harvey